Comedy Is In My Blood.

Some Dog I Got Too. We Call Him Egypt. Because In Every Room He Leaves A Pyramid.

I Can't Figure Women Out. They Put On Makeup For Three Hours. They Wear Things That Make Them Smaller. Things That Make Them Bigger. Then They Meet A Man And They Want Truth.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

I Come Home From Work Early One Day, And I See A Guy Jogging Down The Street In His Underwear. I Ask Him, "why Are You Jogging In Your Underwear?" He Says, "you Came Home From Work Early".

I'm Tellin' Ya I Get No Respect. When I Was In Switzerland, I Got An Obscene Yodel.