Democracy Means Free Television, Not

Thanksgiving Is An Emotional Holiday. People Travel Thousands Of Miles To Be With People They Only See Once A Year. And Then Discover Once A Year Is Way Too Often.

Never Marry A Girl Named 'marie' Who Used To Be Known As 'murray'.

I Know A Guy Who Gave Up Smoking Cigarettes, Consuming, Sex, And Wealthy Meals.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.

In 1932, Lame Duck President Herbert Hoover Was So Desperate To Remain In The White House That He Dressed Up As Eleanor Roosevelt. When Fdr Discovered The Hoax In 1936, The Two Men Decided To Stay Together For The Sake Of The Children.