Didn't We Learn Our Lesson

People Often Ask Me When There's Going To Be A Mrs. Zach Braff. It's A Confusing Question Sometimes Because Many People Don't Realize That My Mother Is Named Mrs. Zach Braff.

Honestly, The Only Way Garden State Could Have Been Better Was If I Played Every Character. I'm Awesome.

Working On 'scrubs' Made Me Feel Guilty Because I Realized That If I Had Decided To Become An Actual Doctor, Instead Of Just Playing One, I Could Probably Have Found A Cure To Cancer Within Five Years.

Every Time I See A Child Walking Down The Street I Like To Trip Them. While They Look For Their Missing Teeth, I Personally Remind Them That No Matter How Hard They Try I Will Always Be Better Than Them.

I Never Go Easy On Kids When I Play Board Games. The Sooner They Learn What The Consequence Of Entering A Competition Is, The Better. If They Win, I Punch Them In The Face Like Any Adult.