Do You Want To Feel

Talk About Cheap - On Christmas Eve, My Neighbour Shoots Off Three Blanks And Tells His Kids Santa Claus Just Committed Suicide.

I Feel Like Zsa Zsa Gabor's Sixth Husband. I Know What I'm Supposed To Do, But I Don't Know How To Make It Interesting.

You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder Than Your Words.

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door, But Only As Long As It's Not Visible From The Street.

An Adult Western Is Where The Hero Still Kisses His Horse At The End, Only Now He Worries About It.