Every Time I Go And

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.

I Hate Arrows. They Try To Tell Me Which Direction To Go. It's Like "i Ain't Going That Way, Line With Two Thirds Of A Triangle On The End!"

Stand-up Is An Art But Since It's Humor And It's Funny - A Lot Of Guys That Don't Think It's Art Are Probably Coming From The Angle That They Don't Want To Take It So Seriously. I've Always Looked At It As An Art But I Don't Look At It As A Pretentious Art. I Understand It Has To Be Taken Lightly Because It Is Just Comedy In The End, But The Good Stand-up Comics Are Someone With Something To Say.

I've Never Stayed At A Bed And Breakfast. If I Did, I Figure You Would Start To Get Hungry! "is That All You Got Around Here? Well, Maybe You Can Direct Me To A Chair Lunch Dinner."

Is A Hippopotamus A Hippopotamus Or Just A Really Cool Opotamus?