Everything You Learn Becomes A

Dilbert: Evolution Must Be True Because It Is A Logical Conclusion Of The Scientific Method. Dogbert: But Science Is Based On The Irrational Belief That Because We Cannot Perceive Reality All At Once, Things Called Time And Cause And Effect Exist. Dilbert: That's What I Was Taught And That's What I Believe. Dogbert: Sounds Cultish.

Recently I Quit Caffeine. My Doctor Seems To Think That 17 Diet Cokes Per Day Is Too Much. In Case You Ever Consider Getting Off Caffeine Yourself, Let Me Explain The Process. You Begin By Sitting Motionlessly In A Desk Chair. Then You Just Keep Doing That Forever Because Life Has No Meaning.

Everybody Is Somebody's Else's Weirdo

The Only Risk Of Failure Is Promotion.

A Person With A Flexible Schedule And Average Resources Will Be Happier Than A Rich Person Who Has Everything Except A Flexible Schedule. Step One In Your Search For Happiness Is To Continually Work Toward Having Control Of Your Schedule.