Everytime I Go To Vegas,

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem To Incur Some Kind Of Fine.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.

My Mother Would Say, Before I Left The House, 'remember Art, Hugs Are Better Than Drugs.' And I Believed My Mother, I Believed Everything She Said - Until The First Time I Got High At A Party. I Leaned Back, And I Went, 'god, This Is Way Better Than When My Uncle Perry Hugs Me. What Else Has My Mother Been Lying To Me About?