For Days After Death Hair

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.

Everybody I Meet In Public Seems To Want To Audition For Me. If I Ask A Guy What Time It Is, He'll Sing It To Me.

A Two-pound Turkey And A Fifty-pound Cranberry-that's Thanksgiving Dinner At Three Mile Island.

I Know A Man Who Gave Up Smoking, Drinking, Sex, And Rich Food. He Was Healthy Right Up To The Day He Killed Himself.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.