Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In

He's So Fat, He Can Be His Own Running Mate.

Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be Criticized.

Pie Throwing Is Kind Of A Lost Art, And Although It May Be A Rather Rudimentary, Burlesque Humor, There's Something Inherently Funny About Taking A Pie In The Face, Under The Right Conditions.

Happiness Is Your Dentist Telling You It Won't Hurt And Then Having Him Catch His Hand In The Drill.

According To Statistics, It's A Lot Easier To Get Hit By Lightning Than To Win A Lotto Jackpot. The Good Side: You Don't Hear From Your Relatives.