Humor Springs From Rage, Hay

[footnote:] Pliny The Elder Described A Whale Called "balaena Or Whirlpool, Which Is So Long And Broad As To Take Up More In Length And Breadth Than Two Acres Of Ground." This Brings Up Again The Old Question: Are The Classics Doomed? Our Ancestors Believed That Four Years Of This Sort Of Information Would Inevitably Produce A President, Or At Least A Cabinet Member. It Didn't Seem To Work Out That Way.

Galvani Was Mistaken About The Amount Of Electricity In Frogs, But He Had Some Good Ideas, Too, For The Galvanometer Is Named In His Honor, And You Don't Have Galvanometers Named After You Merely For Making A Mistake About A Frog.

If A Cat Does Something, We Call It Instinct; If We Do The Same Thing, For The Same Reason, We Call It Intelligence.

I Am Billed As A Humorist, But Of Course I Am A Tragedian At Heart.

Frogs Will Eat Red-flannel Worms Fed To Them By Biologists; This Proves A Great Deal About Both Parties Concerned.