I Am Descended From A

You Know What Keeps Me Humble? Mirrors!

There's Such A Buildup Of Crud In My Oven, There's Only Room To Bake A Single Cupcake.

The Doctor Looked My Body Over. I Said: Is There Any Hope? He Said: Yes. Reincarnation.

My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice - They Just Look Like Me.

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.