I Can't Relax And Sink

Twitter Makes You A Comedian In The Same Way That Digital Cameras Make You A Photographer

I Threw The Opening Pitch At A Blue Jays Game, And After The Pitch, The Mascot Asked Me If I Wanted Him To Sign The Game Ball, Which I Thought Was Funny. What Would He Write? "best Wishes, Some Guy In A Bird Suit"?"

I Remember One Of My Last Shows, The Final Jeopardy! Clue Was Something Like 'these Two Boys' Names Are Top 10 Boys' Names In The U.s., They Both End With The Same Letter, And They're Both Names Of Jesus' Apostles.' Now, Obviously That's Not A Knowable Fact.

You Live Overseas, You See These Exotic Places And You Want To Know About Them. But, Weirdly, It Also Made Me Homesick For All These Very Prosaic Places In America.

Sure I Have A Cell-phone, So I Don't Have To Remember Everyone's Number Anymore, But That Really Wasn't A Core Part Of My Brain.