I Don't Aim To Offend.

Heckling Is An Act Of Cowardice. If You Want To Speak, Get Up In Front Of The Microphone And Speak, Don't Sit In The Dark Hiding. It's Easy To Hide And Shout And Waste People's Time.

Nothing Means Anything Here. When They Pull Down An Outstanding Building, No One Objects. Oh, Maybe There's A Wee Protest From Some Collectors Or Something Who Take A Picture Of It Before It Vanishes.

I Became A Welder. I Was Actually Becoming An Engineer And I Joined The Wrong Queue. And So I Became A Welder, Without Knowing What A Welder Was.

I Don't Think I've Ever Died On Stage. I've Had Jokes That Died On Stage. I've Told A Joke And Absolutely Nothing. They Didn't Know It Was The End Of The Joke.

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce - My Main Thrust Was The Body And Its Functions And Malfunctions - The Absurdity Of The Thing.