I Don't Think I Have

Everything Is Chance, Or Nothing Is Chance. If I Believed The First, I Would Be Unable To Live On, But I Am Not Yet Fully Convinced Of The Second.

When I Pray, I Never Pray For Myself, Always For Others, Or Else I Hold A Silly, Naive, Or Deadly Serious Dialogue With What Is Deepest Inside Me, Which For The Sake Of Convenience I Call God. Praying To God For Something For Yourself Strikes Me As Being Too Childish For Words. To Pray For Another's Well-being Is Something I Find Childish As Well; One Should Only Pray That Another Should Have Enough Strength To Shoulder His Burden. If You Do That, You Lend Him Some Of Your Own Strength.

Before, I Always Lived In Anticipation . . . That It Was All A Preparation For Something Else, Something "greater," More "genuine." But That Feeling Has Dropped Away From Me Completely. I Live Here And Now, This Minute, This Day, To The Full, And The Life Is Worth Living.

I Keep Remembering From My Early Student Days How I Would Walk At Night Through The Streets, My Hands Bunched Into Fists In The Pocket Of My Coat, My Head Hunched Deep Into My Collar, And How I Used To Say, 'i Want To Work, I Shall Work'--and Then I Would Come Back Home And Be So Exhausted By My Determination That I Had No Strength Left To Do The Actual Work.

I Don't Think I Have Nerves Of Steel, Far From It, But I Can Certainly Stand Up To Things. I Am Not Afraid To Look Suffering Straight In The Eyes.