I Don't Think There's Anything

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

I Think I'm Good With Actors. I Like Directing Actors. I Also Like To Show Up And Just Do An Acting Gig. Where I'm Just A Hired Gun, I Don't Have To Have An Opinion On Anything.i Never Got Involved In All This Stuff Because I Wanted To Control Stuff; I Got Involved In Writing And Producing Because I Wasn't Getting Interesting Acting Gigs. In A Way I'm Grateful That I Didn't Get Interesting Roles, Because It Made Me Pull My Finger Out And Do Some Work.

I Don't Like Comedy That I Think Is Bad Comedy, Where People Are Trying To Be Sick For The Sake Of It, Where There's No Intellectual Point Behind It. I Like Stuff That's Got An Underlying Point Of View.

I Happen To Have A Public Profile. Ditto Newspaper Editors. It's A Result Of What I Do, Not An End.

I've Met People Who've Dismissed Me, And Then They Find Out That They Like My Work, And Suddenly Their Attitude Changes Toward Me. And I Think That's Very Funny And Very Human. But It's Also Very Unattractive.