I Get No Respect. The

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

I Tell Ya, With My Wife, I Got No Sex Life. Her Favorite Position Is Facing Bloomingdale's.

When My Old Man Wanted Sex, My Mother Would Show Him A Picture Of Me.

I Told My Dentist I Want A Tooth To Match The Others. He Gave My One With Four Cavities.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Had No Friends. I Remember The See-saw. I Had To Keep Runnin' From One End To The Other.