I Hate Smart Sales Clerks.

By Far The Most Common Craving Of Pregnant Women Is Not To Be Pregnant.

Tranquilizers Work Only If You Follow The Advice On The Bottle - Keep Away From Children.

My Idea Of Exercise Is A Good Brisk Sit.

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

If It Weren't For Baseball, Many Kids Wouldn't Know What A Millionaire Looked Like.