I Just Didn’t Want To

Do You Realize How Much Better The World Would Be If We All Just Treated Each Other The Same Way Black Dudes Treat Magicians?

Let's Have A Moment Of Silence For All The Chubby Asian Dudes That Are Getting 'gangnam Style!' Yelled At Them By Bros Around The World.

Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept That People Are Just Going To Yell Stuff At You.

After You Do A Joke A Few Times, You Have Material That You Know Works. Although Sometimes I Have A Joke That Has Worked A Bunch Of Times And Then One Night It’ll Flop. And That’s When I Really Take A Hard Look At Myself And Say: "well, That Crowd Is Obviously Wrong. That Crowd Has Absolutely No Idea What It’s Talking About."

For The Majority Of The Time, I May As Well Have Been Just A Really Tan White Kid. You Know, I May As Well Have Just Been, Like, A Fat Kid.