I Know Everything Because I

The Main Thing That I Learned From My Horrible Job Experiences Was How Horrible They Were.

No One Is Depressed When They're Being Chased By A Bear.

Everyone Keeps Saying, "oh My God, Oh My God, How Intimidating." It's Like Saying, "how Could You Date Jennifer Aniston After She's Been With Brad Pitt?" I Don't Care.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

You're 28, Why Are You Going To Goth Clubs? Do What I Do, Sit At Home & Wait To Die. You Don't Have To Kill Yourself, You're Just Waiting.