I Like My Parents But

When I Fart My Ass Makes A Trumpet Sound That Heralds The Arrival Of The Smell.

I Guess My Feeling Is That If You’re Going To Make A Joke, That’s Fine, But You Should Also Sort Of Stand Behind It, You Know? A Joke Should Be More Than A Joke, It Should Be A Point That You’re Trying To Make.

I Spoke To My Dad, And He Said It Took Close To 90 Dollars To Raise Me. But That Was Me And My Sister, And My Sister Moved Out When She Was 16, So Sometimes It Can Knock You Up To Triple Digits To Raise A Kid.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

Everything Seems Overwhelming When You Stand Back And Look At The Totality Of It. I Build A Lot Of Stuff And It Would All Seem Impossible If I Didn't Break It Down Piece By Piece, Stage By Stage. The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself Is Some Drive--that Thing Inside Of You That Gets You Out The Door To The Gym, Job Interviews, And Dates. The Believe-in-yourself Adage Is Grossly Overrated.