When I Fart My Ass

I Know Everything Because I Know Nothing.

I Saw A Commercial For The Maxi Pads For The Bigger Gals They're Making Now. That Was A Nice Visual While I Was Eating.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks.

The Main Thing That I Learned From My Horrible Job Experiences Was How Horrible They Were.