I Live In A Bad

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. When He Took Me Hunting He Gave Me A Three Minute Head Start. Then On The Way Home He Tied Me To The Fender And Put The Deer In The Car.

For Two Hours, Some Guy Followed Me Around With A Pooper Scooper.

Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My Wife Won't Let Me Toke At Home.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."