I Live In A Tough

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

I Tell Ya I Got A Stupid Son. That's One Load That Shoulda Been Shot On The Wall.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. He Told Me Never Take Candy From A Stranger Unless He Offered Me A Ride.

My Father Gave Me A Bat For Christmas. The First Time I Tried To Play With It, It Flew Away.

For Two Hours, Some Guy Followed Me Around With A Pooper Scooper.