I'll Tell You A Little

Never Get On An Airplane If The Pilot Is Wearing A Hat That Has More Than Three Pastel Colors.

When I Listen To Those Tapes Now, The Real Cocaine Shows; There's Just Nothing Special About Their Content.

To My Surprise, My Marijuana Use Has Been Tapering Off Steadily.

Granola Didn't Sell Very Well When It Was Good For You. Now It Has Caramel, Chocolate, Marshmallow, Saturated Fat And Sweeteners With A Small Amount Of Oats And Grains. Sales Picked Up.

The Very Existence Of Flamethrowers Proves That Sometime, Somewhere, Someone Said To Themselves, "you Know, I Want To Set Those People Over There On Fire, But I'm Just Not Close Enough To Get The Job Done".