I Never Drank Anything Stronger

Buried My Wife The Other Day. Had To, She Died.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

I Could Be Stranded In Any Town In The United States With Ten Cents And Within An Hour Make $20 With The Shell Game.

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.