I Never Drink Water... Fish

I Only Drink To Steady My Nerves... Sometimes I'm So Steady I Don't Move For Months.

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

I Feel Like A Midget With Muddy Feet Had Been Walking Over My Tongue All Night.

I Never Voted For Anybody. I Always Voted Against.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.