I, Of Course, Don't Have

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

I Think The Idea That Death Is Not The End, That Your Dog's Just Gone To Live On The Farm, Is Limiting. Thoughts Like That Prevent You From Making The Most Of The Time That You Have.

I Have No Problems With Buying Tampons. I Am A Fairly Modern Man. But Apparently They're Not A "proper" Present. "happy Birthday, Mum!"

Once I Was Doing A Sponsored Walk. In The End I Managed To Raise So Much Money, I Could Afford A Taxi.