I Once Truly Believed That

I Make Mistakes; I'll Be The Second To Admit It.

I Once Truly Believed That If I Had To Stand In Line For Twenty Minutes To Have A Package Gift-wrapped It Actually Gave The Recipient More Pleasure.

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

I Was Always The Last Woman On The Last Down Elevator As The Store Was Closing.

... It's Impossible To Register Any Emotion Without Using Some Muscle Which, In Time, Will Produce A Wrinkle. ... By The Time She Is Thirty, A Starlet Has Been Carefully Taught To Smile Like A Dead Halibut. The Eyes Widen, The Mouth Drops Open, But The Eye Muscles Are Never Involved.