I Practice Three Hours Daily

Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

I'm Living In A Very Modest Place. I Have A Room Over-looking Beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I Thought It Was Better Than Paying Claridge's Prices And Overlooking The Dump I'm Living In.

I'm Happy To Be Making My First Appearance On Air Professionally. By That I Mean I'm Finally Getting Paid, Which I Know Will Be A Great Relief To My Creditors.