I Think I'd Be A

Hopefully People Are Upset For The Reason I Want Them To Be Upset. Even When I Was Doing Open Mics, I've Always Had People Upset. I've Never Been The Consummate Crowd-pleaser.

You Cannot Win A War On Terrorism. It's Like Having A War On Jealousy.

As Far As Just My Stand-up Is Concerned, I Don't Care About Changing Anyone's Mind. I'm Not Making An Argument. I'm A Guy Doing Comedy.

I'm Directing The Sky Show. I'm Not Going To Be In It. I'm Just Writing And Directing It. So That'll Satisfy That Part Of My Brain.

I Am Against The War, But I Do Support Our White Troops. No, I'm Kidding, I'm Kidding. I'm Not A Republican. I'm Not A Member Of The Party Of Inclusion. Wonderful, Tolerant, Rational Human Beings They Are.