I Think That You're Always

Happy Birthday To Former First Lady Barbara Bush, Who Turned Seventy-seven This Week. Unfortunately, Where Her Granddaughters Helped Blow Out The Candles On Her Cake, It Exploded.

In Massachusetts, Scientists Have Created The First Human Clone. The Bad Thing Is That In Thirty Years, The Clone Will Still Be Depressed Because The Boston Red Sox Will Still Have Not Won A World Series.

Or As Hockey Player Sergei Fedorov Knows It, 'the Day I Can Legally Start Telling Everyone I Am Sleeping With Anna Kournikova.'

I Enjoyed Retirement The Right Way Linguine Con Vongole, Red Wine And Plenty Of Truffle Cheese.

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.