I Touched An Oscar Once.

The Show Is A Satire, Which Gives Us Freedom To Do Anything We Want. Satire Is The Magic Word That Wipes Away Any Culpability. The Media Is Jealous Of This Freedom.

Why Should I Be Feeling Tension? It's The Daily Show.

I've Been An Apple Guy Since The Mid 80's And That's When I Was Like, "boy, You Guys Really Got Me Here. I Know Exactly What You're Doing, Right Down To Your Price Points."

I Want To Manufacture A Feud.

I'm A Complete Egomaniac. It Makes Me Feel Terrible To Say [being Interviewed] Is Hard. It's Taxing In A Way. Just 'cause It's A Lot Of Mental Energy Just To Keep Focused. I Actually Think It's Harder For Journalists.