I Want To Have Young

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

I Have Been Doing Leg Lifts Faithfully For About Fifteen Years, And The Only Thing That Has Gotten Thinner Is The Carpet Where I Have Been Doing The Leg Lifts.

Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are So Ugly And They Always Say The Same Thing: 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?

Marriages Don't Last. When I Meet A Guy, The First Question I Ask Myself Is: Is This The Man I Want My Children To Spend Their Weekends With?

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.