I Was A High School

As Life's Pleasures Go, Food Is Second Only To Sex. Except For Salami And Eggs. Now That's Better Than Sex, But Only If The Salami Is Thickly Sliced.

It's Not Easy Being A Father, But I've Been Allowed A Comeback.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.

Eating Takes A Special Talent. Some People Are Much Better At It Than Others. In That Way, It Is Like Sex, And As With Sex, It's More Fun With Someone Who Really Likes It. I Can't Imagine Having A Lasting Friendship With Anyone Who Is Not Interested In Food.

One Thing I've Never Said In My Whole Life Is, 'let's Have Dinner At A Japanese Restaurant.'