I Watch A Lot Of

I Don't Think Comedians Make An Active Decision To Be A Certain "persona." Comedians Write The Way They're Going To Write.

You Ever Buy A Book And Not Read It? You Feel Almost Guilty Having It Up On A Bookshelf. People Are Like, "hey, How's That Book?" "i Haven't Read It." "oh, Did You Just Buy It?" "i've Had It Since High School." "well, Can I Borrow It?" "no."

I Think When My Mother Died, It Was Such A - You Know, A Shock To The Logic That I Had Been Raised With.

You Ever Find Yourself Being Lazy For No Reason At All? Like, You Pick Up Your Mail, You Go In Your House, You Realize You Have A Letter For A Neighbor. You Ever Just Look At The Letter And Go "hm. Looks Like They're Never Getting This. It'll Take Too Much Energy To Go Back Outside. I'm Gonna Get That To Them Later On. Right Now I Gotta Watch Some 'love Connection.' They Got Some New Host On There."

Twitter Allowed Me To Talk About Parenting In Short Snippets And Find Out What I Really Wanted To Say About It, Which Is That I'm A Dad Who Had No Idea What He's Doing.