If God Had Wanted Us

While President Bush Was Out Of Town Hillary Clinton Stopped By The White House On Friday For An Important Meeting With Her Decorator.

Over In Iraq After You Vote They Paint Your Finger Purple So You Can't Vote Again. It's A Flawless System. It Works Perfectly Unless, Of Course, Someone Has Paint Remover.

The Secret Service Has Announced It Is Doubling Its Protection For John Kerry. You Can Understand Why - With Two Positions On Every Issue, He Has Twice As Many People Mad At Him.

The Pentagon Still Has Not Given A Name To The Iraqi War. Somehow 'operation Re-elect Bush' Doesn't Seem To Be Popular.

If It Turns Out That The Mayans Are Right And The World Is Going To End, You Know What This Means? Lindsay Lohan Is A Genius. She's Been Partying Her Brains Out. She Owes Taxes. She’s Crashing Cars. She’s A Genius!