If I Have Caused Just

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?

You Want Something By Bach? Which One, Johann Sebastian Or Jacques Offen?

Occasionally, A Finger Comes Up To Wipe A Tear [of Laughter] From The Eye... And That's My Reward... The Rest Goes To The Government.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.