If I Screw Up Raising

The Environment Changed With Martha Stewart And Enron.

College Totally Changed My Life. It Changed What I Believe And What I Think About Everything. I Majored In Philosophy.

All Of Life’s Riddles Are Answered In The Movies.

Hollywood Must Be The Only Place On Earth Where You Can Be Fired By A Man Wearing A Hawaiian Shirt And A Baseball Cap.

I Opened The Show With This Line: "i Have Decided To Give The Greatest Performance Of My Life! Oh, Wait, Sorry, That's Tomorrow Night.