If Life Was Fair, Elvis

Happiness Is Sitting Down To Watch Some Slides Of Your Neighbor's Vacation And Finding Out That He Spent Two Weeks In A Nudist Colony.

Air Canada. That's A Good Name For A Canadian Airline.

Never Marry A Girl Named 'marie' Who Used To Be Known As 'murray'.

I Would Like To Say, For The Record, That I Am In Favor Of Using More American Indians And Other Minorities In Motion Pictures, I Am Against Polluting The Oceans Of The World, I Am For Every Nationality Having Its Own Homeland, I Am Against Whacking Baby Seals On The Head, And I Am For Saving The Whales.

Pie Throwing Is Kind Of A Lost Art, And Although It May Be A Rather Rudimentary, Burlesque Humor, There's Something Inherently Funny About Taking A Pie In The Face, Under The Right Conditions.