If My Jeans Could Talk,

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing In The Back Yard.

They Just Elected Me Mis Phonograph Record Of 1966. They Discovered My Measurements Were 33 1/2, 45, 78!