If You Were To Buy

Unlike Furious Thin-lipped Feminists, I Tend Not To Draw Distinctions Between Men And Women, Apart From In Bed Where You Really Do Need To Spot The Difference.

If You're Thinking Of Coming To America, This Is What It's Like: You've Got Your Comfort Inn, You've Got Your Best Western, And You've Got Your Red Lobster Where You Eat. Everybody's Very Fat, Everybody's Very Stupid And Everybody's Very Rude - It's Not A Holiday Programme, It's The Truth.

We Live In The Worst Country In The World. At Least We Do For Lazy, Inefficient, Office-bound Police, Whose Response To An Extraordinary Rise In Violent Crime Is To Order More Speed Cameras.

The "public" Seems To Have Bought Into This Belief That Life Can, And Should, Be Run Without Risk, That All Accidents Are Avoidable, And That Death Is Something That Only Happens To People Who Eat Meat And Smoke.

I'm A Horse Of A Man!