If You've Heard This Story

I Would Never Join A Country Club With Standards So Low As To Allow Me As A Member.

Some Day There Will Have To Be Some New Rules Established About Name-calling. I Don't Mean The Routine Cursing That Goes On Between Husband And Wife, But The Naming Of Defenseless, Unsuspecting Babies.

I Don't Care To Belong To A Club That Accepts People Like Me As Members.

When You're In Jail, A Good Friend Will Be Trying To Bail You Out. A Best Friend Will Be In The Cell Next To You Saying, 'damn, That Was Fun.'

I'll Never Forget My Wedding Day... They Threw Vitamin Pills