I'm An Action Transvestite.

So In Europe, We Had Empires. Everyone Had Them - France And Spain And Britain And Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, Full Of Furniture For Some Reason. And The Austro-hungarian Empire, Famous For F-k All! Yes, All They Did Was Slowly Collapse Like A Flan In A Cupboard.

Scrabble Was Invented By Nazis To Piss Off Kids With Dyslexia.

Well, If You Don't Have A Flag, Then You Can't Have A Country. Those Are The Rules... That I Just Made Up!

Mac Gave Me 55 Lipsticks To Test. These Are The Same Lipsticks I Got Caught Stealing By The Police When I Was 15. How Ironic.

I Wanted To Be Less Well-known In Comedy.