I'm An Old Fashioned Joint

When I Would Sell Encyclopedias, I Would Drive Down The Road Looking For A House With A Swing Set In The Back, And I'd Say, "oh, Those Folks Got Kids. They Need Some Books." I'd Knock On Their Door And Sell Them A Set Of Encyclopedias, And Those Books Were From $300 To $600. I'd Look Around The House, And If There Wasn't That Much Furniture In The House, I Felt A Little Bad About Selling A $600 Set Of Books To People Who Couldn't Afford A Couch. So I Didn't Last At That Job Very Long.

When Evolution Has Been Outlawed, Only The Outlaws Will Evolve.

Writing Books Is Fun Because After I Do A Show For A Couple Hours, I'm In A Bus For 22 Hours. It's Not Hard For Me To Look Out The Window And Tell A Joke Here And There.

I'm Drowning In Whiskey River.

The First Time I Got Onstage Was When I Was About 5 Years Old. It Was At A Church Social, And I Had A Poem To Recite.