I'm At The Age Where

My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy And I Said I Want A Second Opinion. He Said Okay, You're Ugly Too.

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.

My Cousins Gay, He Went To London Only To Find Out That Big Ben Was A Clock.

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.