I'm Jewish, But I'm Totally

Everybody Blames The Jews For Killing Christ, And The Jews Try To Pass It Off On The Romans. I'm One Of The Few People Who Believes It Was The Blacks.

In Your Twenties, I Think You Should Have All Of The Sex That You're Inclined To Have, As Long As You're Safe About It. Use Condoms And Everything. Go With Your Instincts. This Is The Time To Have A Lot Of Sex And Do Drugs. But Make Sure You Live Through It.

I'd Rather Have A Girl Exposed To Me Than 25 Women In Prom Dresses Vying For A Stranger.

I Don't Think Half My Stuff Would Be Funny If The Audience Didn't Feel At Least A Little Bit Safe That It's Not How I Truly Feel.

I Don't Like People Whose Job It Isn't To Be Funny, To Tell Me What Is And Isn't Funny.