I'm Not Being Condescending, I'm

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

It Had To Be Hammered Home Quite A Bit Because I Didn't See Any Humour In My Life At All.

My Girlfriend Said She Wanted Me To Tease Her, So I Said "alright, Fatty."

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.