I'm The Woman Who Used

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

I Hate Smart Sales Clerks. I Said To One, What Do You Have In Lingerie? She Says, More Than You'll Ever Have!

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!

Like All Good Ruins, I Look Better By Moonlight.