Is This The 5:00 Free

Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

For One Year, I Want To Do This Thing Where I Guest-star On As Many Television Shows As I Possibly Can. I Love Television. The Fact That Television Ultimately Made Me Famous Was Very Gratifying For Me.

If Someone Sits And Stares At You While You Eat, You Won't Even Eat The Way You Normally Do, Because It'll Make You So Uncomfortable. If I Look At My Dog When He's Eating, He Will Look At Me Like, "dave, I Will Bite You. What Are You Looking At? I'm Trying To Eat." It's Something That Dehumanizes A Person, Being On Display Like That.

My Generation Is Under-entertained.

No One Wants To Get Their Ass Beat To A Soundtrack.