I've Just Had Some Bad

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.

Take My Wife... Please. I'm Not Saying She's Ugly, But When She Went To See A Horror Film, The Audience Thought She Was Making A Personal Appearance.

I Can Always Tell When The Mother In Law's Coming To Stay; The Mice Throw Themselves On The Traps.

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.

There Is A Remote Tribe That Worships The Number Zero. Is Nothing Sacred?